Parliament of Victoria (as if my previous post wasn't long enough)

I'm back!

I've just remembered that I completely forgot to blog about Parliament! I unfortunately realized this when I looked down at the ridiculous grin on my Parliament ID picture. What began as quite a nice smile turned abnormally ecstatic-looking as my boss said, "Smile bigger!" (one must always obey the boss, even when it makes you look like an idiot in a picture that the whole world...or at least the security guards... will see and immediately laugh at. And probably talk about long after I'm gone) Anyway, on Thursday my boss took me to Parliament (sorry, no pictures here--explanation below) during their Sitting week. No pictures are allowed while they're sitting, which isn't to say that they're allowed while they are standing either. Sitting is what they say when they're in session. Pictures should follow next week, as my boss has agreed to let me go back for a tour of the enormous building while they are out of session.

The building itself is fantastically old and enormous and very very easy to lose yourself in (which I did quite a lot). Since my boss had to be in meetings, she told me to just wander around and that the best way to learn the building was to get lost in it...great advice. I was petrified the entire time that I would accidentally wind up in the Premier's office or something ridiculous like that. So, to be safe, I didn't open any doors. Because it's an old building, most of the Members offices are in what I consider to be the dungeon. It's a bit Harry Potter-esque and aside from the poor lighting, I loved it! I was able to watch their sessions from above, which was fun. The Members all talk out of turn and exchange witty jabs at each other- I loved it! It was like a rowdy football game with the opposition on either side.

The Utah interns for my boss are quite notorious. The moment I spoke the Parliament building staff would say, "Ahh, you're another one of Chris's Utah recruits, aren't you?" Why yes, Bill, I am. There is a delightful old man, whose job is to open the door of the chambers for the Members, that struck up a conversation with me (old people LOVE me...maybe it's glasses that I stole off that old lady's corpse, right Jon?). He was so friendly and will probably remember me fondly for years and years (memory like an elephant, that one). He was from Melbourne at had for a short period been a mormon, so he recalled ridiculous places like Hurricane (even pronounced this one like a Utahn...which is to say incorrectly), Richmond, Bountiful, Logan, etc....places I hadn't even heard of or couldn't locate on a map.

He remembered one particular missionary back in the 70's who he was convinced was batting for the other team. He never did find out for sure because apparently the kid was ill and was sent home to Logan early, only to die shortly thereafter from a brain tumor! What a story. I assume that this man and I will have many chats in the coming months. I like when people talk to me.

And then there is the Library. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Think Beauty and the Beast amazing. Spiral staircases, cozy leather armchairs, books from floor to ceiling. If books about Politics turned me on, I would be in heaven. Sadly, this is not the case. Though I do still adore that place nonetheless.

Oh, yeah, best part. Parliament has color-coordinated carpeting for the upper and lower houses! Haha. And color-coordinated bells. And these bells, dependent upon how long they ring, mean something completely different! I just thought there was some sort of fire every hour or so....

Okay, so that is that. I could rack my brain for more memories about Parliament...and as I wrote that one popped into my head! The toilets. Oh, yes, the toilets. They are quite luxurious! The water is always flushed with a blue cleaning liquid, and even when nobody has pooped, a little machine on the wall releases a little puff of fragrance. Hahahaha. Love it. I could LIVE in that bathroom.

Now that really is all. Pictures of Parliament on Wednesday.

Here are the few and far between pictures from Saturday. Savour them (because you probably won't get more for a while....)!


My bedroom. Isn't it splendid...?... As if I would need that bloody fan in the corner. It's f-ing FREEZING here.


My wall of love and happiness.



I forgot about this! Hahaha. A rally against-get this, Scientologists! Now this IS happiness. I wish I could remember what their hilarious signs said.


Queen Victoria Market! Huge and wonderful. They sell dog beds there. DOG beds. And gluten free food-woohoo! Strange and fabulous. Sorry no pics of the actual market. I'm also self-conscious about being that annoying and dorky tourist who takes way too many photos about things that most people consider to be non-picture worthy.


Oh, p.s. currently someone...or something... is singing opera (if you could call it that because they are terrible) outside my window. I happen to live next to a gas station, but I suspect it is actually my very weird and awkwardly nosy neighbor who stared, acually STARED at me as I walked away from the house. I think she thought she was hidden from sight behind that bush...she wasn't.